Friday, April 17, 2009

Finding Fault

ONLY GOD KNOWS WHY Pictures, Images and Photos

Here lately, I have a lot to say, but can't put it into words. I am speechless, in a way.(I know, shock from you all lmao) I think all of us struggle at times w/the "why's" and "why nots" . WELL, here lately, I have been asking GOD those same ?'s.

There is a family that I have been praying for an awful lot. Kellie and Mark have three beautiful kids.Kellie is this amazingly strong woman, not to mention she is drop dead gorgeous. Her husband, Mark is dying at the young age of 33. My heart breaks. I don't know how I would do it. I feel so sorry for her kids.

I don't get it. How can my God,the one that allowed me to give birth to a beautiful son, take a father and husband away from another? In all my life, I have never turned my back on my faith. Even through losing so many that I love, my grandfather,my granny,my cousin,my mom, my dad......

The day I peed on a stick and found out that Joe and I were to be parents, well that was one of the happiest days of my life. I was head over heels in love w/Aiden from that moment. The day he was born, although quite painful, I vowed to always put him first and have not stop thanking God for him since. He was born healthy and just plain beautiful. I swear(and I know all parents think this..well ok so we all KNOW this lol) that he is the most beautiful little boy in the world. Women go through all that pain,and would tell you that they would do it all over again just for that baby. This to me, says that there HAS to be a GOD. lol. SO how can a God that gives us such miracles,take away those we love and hold dear so much.

Here lately, my brain is having a hard time w/it all. Not just my brain, but my heart. I have not lost faith, don't think that. I am just frustrated right now. Frustrated and sad. I have a lot to discuss w/God once I am in Heaven.I would like to ask a lot of questions.


T- said...

I have been right there with you thinking the same thing the past couple of weeks.

As April's Mom so eloquently put it, though... we spend too much time praying for our miracles instead of praying for God to work His miracles. (And yes, they may not seem it to us now, but someday I know we'll understand how and why they were His miracles.)

Anonymous said...

I think we've all been feeling that way. It really shakes you to the core of your faith when bad things like this seem to be happening all over the place. It's hard to understand all this pain and suffering, but like T said, one day we will have all the answers...

Susan said...

Heather, I think there are a lot of people asking those questions.. I know I am one of them. I am like you, I don't doubt my faith, I just wonder why God would take someone so young.... I also asked this when my cousin died young, leaving 3 boys.

I know God has his reasons, and I know that one day we will all realize what they are, it's just right now it is so fresh and new to us, that we can't understand.