Saturday, July 25, 2009

Giddy Up!

Aiden riding a horse at Chuck E. Cheese...or as I like to call it, HELL. lol

There should be certain rules that apply after one has a baby. Here is my list:

1. When a SAHM delivers her baby, she should automatically get a nanny. YES she should!

2. There should be a warning label on the door of Chuck E. Cheese: Children become Satan's spawn upon entering this door!

3. Little boys, should come w/directions on how to aim their penis at the toilet! They should be born w/this knowledge...really,don't you think?

4. Mother's should have the option to clone oneself. Really, we could use a dozen pair of hands a day. Who says that women can't run this country? Hell, we multitask daily...just ask a mom!

5. All candy that can be shoved up noses should be banned.

6. As a good friend pointed out, Carpet should be self cleaning!

7. Mom's should also get a maid upon delivery of her child. Hey, it's our duty to feed these babies all day, who else is gonna pull out a boob for your kid? I look back at pictures when I was breastfeeding and my house was a disaster, why? BECAUSE I WAS FEEDING A BOY ALL DAY LONG!

8. The government should pay us SAHM just the same as any other worker. Not welfare people, come on, I am talking about a check just like my husband gets. We work too. It's been said that a stay at home mom works the equivalent of two full time jobs-so I should really be making 6 figures JUST for being a mom...

9. Upon leaving the hospital after giving birth, we should get a magical power of not needing as much sleep as before. This would help greatly when breastfeeding every 2 hrs b/c your baby is going through a growth spurt...

10. Last, but not least-we should get pampered once a week at least. I am talking about the works, hair,nails,pedi's, massage,whatever. Hey, a happy mom, makes happy kids. Thus, makes a happy husband...if you get what I am saying. If I am too damn tired to take care of myself after taking care of kid all day, do you really think that I want one more person depending on me for something???? Umm no!


Lisa said...

Amen! I had to laugh at the C-E-C comment ... so true!

Laurie said...

Ha! Love it! So true!