Saturday, July 11, 2015

So it begins... son is going to Church Camp for the 1st time. He will be gone for 4 days. FOUR DAYS. I am excited for him. I am excited to be getting a massage on Monday. I am excited to see what my days of not being a taxi service will be like. THEN I think about what my days will be like without being a taxi service. I am crying inside, smiling on the outside. :) 

20 years ago, if you'd told me, "Heather, you are going to love being a mom so much that you will be ok having your child with you so much!", I'd called you crazy. See, all those years ago, I was pretty sure that God wouldn't allow me to be a mom until I could prove I wouldn't be a mom like my mom. The alcoholic. The one who dropped her kids at her parents and didn't really return to her mothering duties. BUT, you see, I figured out that God doesn't work like that. I've always wanted to adopt because you see, if it were not for my grandparents, I am not sure where I'd be, or who I'd be. So, giving birth never crossed my mind much. THEN, my son was born. Being a mom is NOTHING like being me as a child. I don't have those same fears anymore of being like "her". I am sure there are many areas where I am like my mom. I have excepted that for the most part, I am not nor will I be her. Phew. 

NOW, at nine years old, my precious boy is having his 1st "on my own" experience. Part of me is nervous for him. The other part is excited for him. He's going to have so much fun. He will be with lots of friends and people who love him. Today, while watching him swim with friends, he and another girl (his age) were throwing a ball back and forth and giggling. She's going to camp too. They were so sweet. I hate that I will miss all his experiences because I have never missed anything. Joe, well, he may camp out there :/ LOL. No, no he wont. He must work. 

That sweet baby, yeah he's not so little anymore. Where does the time go? Why does it go by so stinking fast? Sure, all the staying up breastfeeding, spit up all down my boobs, wondering if I smelled like breast milk, the major blow outs (thanks breast milk haha), the two year old tantrums, the get my point, are not the best part of parenting. BUT, all the cuddles, kisses, little arms around your neck, the belly laughing, tickles, 1st time riding a bike, 1st time seeing the ocean, 1st time they lick a lemon(come on now, that's funny), when they read a book to you, when they realize they know all of their multiplication tables, when they look at you and tell you that you are the best mommy in the world because they just witnessed another mommy being really mean....yeah. Those moments. They sure make all the other stuff worth it.

Is it Wednesday yet?


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