Thursday, July 31, 2008

A whole new day...

What an amazing thing-to get a song from your husband that just makes your day. It's those little things that can really turn a bum day into a super great day. I feel like 20lbs has been lifted from my shoulders today. Just to know that he wants to make our life together work makes me feel happy again. I can't help but thinking about all those couples out there that have been married for like 70 yrs. What is it that makes their relationships work? Trust,communication,lust for each other,respect-while all these things seem to be an important issue to many, what's the one thing that makes all of us want our spouse? I guess that I will spend the rest of my life trying to figure it out. Even though I don't know what will be the ONE thing that makes my marriage tick, I am willing to spend a lifetime in search for it. The only person I would do it for is my husband. I really do not believe that there is another man out there that would love me the way that my husband does. Or is there another man out there that would put up w/my crazy self-the OCD(just a tad lol),having to be in control of things,stubbornness,temper(my son gets it honest haha),and I could go on and on.
Is it possible to stay in love w/a person your whole life? You get married young and are "suppose" to be married the rest of your life to that ONE person. People change, the world changes, so should we expect our spouse to just love us for every "person" we become through the years. I have worn many faces, many characteristics I guess you should say. I am not the same person that I was when I was 16 yrs old(the age I fell in love w/my husband). I have grown into the person I am today b/c of many experiences. The one that sticks out in my mind the most is the birth of our son. You just can not be pregnant,feel that baby move inside you, give birth and then breastfeed w/out changing. I can't even watch anything on TV anymore where a child is being abused w/out feeling such anger and sadness. Sure before I had my son, it made me so sad, and I didn't understand why a person had to abuse a child. Now, I get down right ticked off. I look at my son and can't help but thinking, "he's so perfect, so beautiful and amazing, how could anyone abuse this little life?"
I know my reason for being born-and I know this sounds so cliche of me to say, but my whole reason for living is my son. I was meant to be his mommy. If a parent doesn't feel that way about their kids does it make them a bad parent? I for one, can't see why any parent could NOT worship their child the way that I do mine. However, I have come to realize that all parents are not created equal-as my own mother didn't "worship" me the way she should have.
I can't help but think of the way I nurture Aiden. When he's sad or upset about something, I hold him and tell him it's ok. I kiss him, hug him, laugh w/him, all the things you think a mother should do. When he was a newborn, I did EVERYTHING for him. Fed him,changed his diaper,gave him my undivided attention and just couldn't get enough of him lol. His smell, so sweet and his smile, melted my heart. Because of all the things I did for him and still do for him, he is thriving. Talking a mile a minute,walking up and down the stairs WITHOUT holding on to anything,opening all the doors to the house(forget about those child safety locks, he figures them out in 0.2 seconds lol), playing games online,and being a typical 2 yr old.
All this made me think the other day: We as parents spend so much time nurturing our kids, and we let our marriages just "be". Now I know, that our marriages need just as much nurturing as our new born baby does. If you don't, life just gets in the way, you get busy and forget to talk to each other, forget to tell each other how much you love one another, forget to BE IN LOVE. When our marriage is hurting, we hurt and our children hurt. NO MORE for me. I have decided to put two things in front of everything else-even AVON lol. My husband(my marriage) and my son. NO OTHER person out there makes me as happy as they do. Sure, I love all of my family and friends. Here lately, it seems like I have put all others before my marriage. I am going to learn to say NO to others so that I can say YES to my husband. I am going to go on "date nights" w/him more, hire a babysitter(and not feel guilty about it grr) and spend time w/just him. Our marriage is worth it. Our son will be the one to benefit. If we are unhappy, Aiden will know it.

That was a mouthful!

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